Recovering Perfectionist
After having been a contemporary artist for 10 years, there are so many things that I realize about working this way versus people’s perceptions of this type of work that makes it hard for people to understand what I do and why I do it. It is so different from a traditional way to work and make a living, that I find people are so baffled when I say I’m an artist. A lot of times, I get the look or even the response of “ how nice” with a note of “isn’t that cute” in their voice. I don’t take it personal at all, because I know they just can’t relate to me. They are picturing what their own personal idea of art is, which for most ended in high school or with their favorite craft. And I like to do those too.
I’ve been a closet painter my whole life. I’ve always loved to paint anything, and a new box of 64 crayons with the sharpener on the back has always been my favorite thing!! Most of my high school was filled with college prep courses and after high school, I went to pharmacy school. I was the first one on my mom’s side of the family to go to college, and I didn’t want to be a starving artist. Honestly, I didn’t know what I could do with my art. I didn’t know that I could make a career out of it. It seemed that my college choice was more centered around what I could make the most money doing to have the “best” life possible. While pharmacy gave me a wonderful paycheck, it didn’t feed my soul. I was always creating in some way, whether in my home, my kids parties, or my craft projects.
After my first son was born, I needed to stay home to care for him and I needed art in my life more than ever. I started painting again while taking night classes at the Cincinnati Art Academy and the Bonita Art League in Florida after our move. I painted realism with acrylics and oils. I even got into my first art exhibit.
Student Exhibit the Bonita Art League
Bonita Springs, Florida
November 2008
The more I painted, the more I wanted to get more expressive and impressionistic. I couldn’t seem to get there on my own or with my local instructors. I started to get very bored. I would get started on paintings, but would never finish them. I struggled and stopped painting for years, while I focus more on my growing teen boys.
My creative focus was reigniting through some mixed media artists that I started to follow online. I started taking classes and enjoyed the process immensely!! Finding my groove again felt so good, and I couldn’t wait to wake up each day to work on a new project. But what I found was that I couldn’t go half way. I was all in to the process!! The more classes I took, the more I loved creating again. I eventually found a professional artist who asked me, “why do you paint what you choose to paint?” I had never been asked that before. After some deep thinking, I realized that I didn’t care what I painted but picked my subject matter on the colors I got to play with while I painted. At that point, I realized that I needed to stop painting the “thing” and just paint the color. WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??
“From the discipline that comes from passion, we find our way to mastery.”
It took me a year to learn everything I could about abstract art, abstract composition, supplies, and design from books and the internet. I was obsessed. I scoured YouTube and any online art teaching that I could. Then I spent some years with some amazing in person mentors that generously shared their craft and helped to direct me on the path of how to make an abstract painting that was good and was my own unique voice. At the same time, I adopted a practice of painting every day Monday through Friday in my own studio at home. Slowly over the years, my work improved and my Instagram following increased!! I entered in person and online exhibits and started getting into them. My paintings started to stack up. I had a local show in Naples. I got into my first gallery that didn’t sell a single painting. I started teaching beginning Abstracts at a one night event at the Bonita Art League where I had taken lessons for so many years. I kept applying to and getting into art exhibits. And next came the R2H Modern Gallery in Jupiter, Florida, followed by my online representation and licensing contracts with them.
What I hope you come away with here is that this art journey is a process and definitely a journey. It doesn’t end. It just moves from one step to the next right step. It is not something you do to get rich quick, or get rich at all. The art needs to be made for me from deep wells within me. I couldn’t quit now if I wanted to, and never see a point that I stop creating, God willing. It is who I am. I pray this helps you to understand me and other artists like me. I hope you understand the process and the great drive within me to make that next right step.
