Childhood Dreams
Hi Friends!! Art is such a personal endeavor!! Every artist has their own reason for why they do the art that they do. And many artists will have a totally different answer to that question. Today I thought I’d share with you my “WHY” for what I do each day in the studio.
“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.”
For as long as I can remember, my life has been about color. As far back as age three, I would sit and color for hours while my mother would care for my new brother. I remember the great joy of a new box of Crayola Crayons, and what a joy it was to receive a fresh box of 64 with the built in sharpener on the back. That didn’t happen very often, but when it did, it was magical. I can still smell the crayons now!! Can you?? I always wanted the large box of art supplies for Christmas and Birthdays. Art class or crafts at Sunday school, summer camp or Girl Scouts were always my favorite. As I got older, I used my own money to buy some cheap watercolors in tubes and fell in love with the painting process. I would spend hours in my room swirling water colors into whatever interested me at the moment. I had a make shift painting tabletop that I would lay on my floor in my bedroom to work on and it was glorious.
There were a few years in my teens when my love of color really came in handy. We were looking at many houses and model homes with the thought that we might move. There were so many we would look at in a weekend, and I had a crazy knack for remembering each one down to the wallpaper on the walls in the downstairs bathroom. I think my parents thought I was crazy most of the time. But I know that my uncommon talent was helpful for them. I became obsessed with homes, and thought that I would become an architect. I would paint the outsides of beautiful buildings and would draw home floor plans. That was until I took a drafting class in the 8th grade. I thought I was going to poke my eyes out with the protractor!!! I hated it!! It was too restrictive, too controlled, and took way too much patience for me. Plus, there was no color!!
I really never thought that I could use my art as a career. Being a gifted girl meant I had a lot of opportunities to choose whatever career path I wanted to, but for some reason, art was never on the list. I was very interested in the human body and what a miracle life was. I chose to go to pharmacy school. But every chance I got to take an art class, I did. In college, I loved to take pottery classes with the throwing wheels and the big kilns. I have such amazing memories of those days in the art classrooms, but I didn’t think that they were meant for me. I always felt like I wanted to be independent and professional. I wanted to know that I would be stable, and thought that art would always be there for fun. And it really was.
After graduating college, starting my career, and starting my family, I made my way back to my art as a way of finding myself again. You know what happens to us as young moms. We spend all our time taking care of everyone in the family and forget to take care of ourselves. We forget who we really are!! So for years I took art classes with acrylic or oil paint. I loved them all. I even got in student shows and thought that was absolutely amazing.
After stepping away again due to rough family issues, I returned again 10 years ago with a vengeance. I really studied my life experience. I really tried to realize what it was that always drew me to art and how could I truly express all the the art living inside of me. It was then that I realized that all along since even a young age, it has always been about the color. I am just transfixed by color. I know I see all the extra colors that are available to the human eye. And I think I actually have a little synesthesia, which is when you feel physical feelings/emotions in response to certain color combinations. And what an amazing feeling it is when I reach that space in a painting where I get a “ZING” of energy racing through my body because the color combination really speaks to me. I even have negative energy when colors are not jiving right. I have a very hard time leaving a painting in the studio when its going through that ugly phase that all paintings go through. I want to keep working to get it out of that phase. But in life, that doesn’t always work. Most of the time at this point I am OK with it, but there are nights that I feel so bothered that the work is just not coming together. Sometimes I even put paintings away for a couple weeks, but for some reason, there is always a new direction to take when I rediscover them.
So that’s it. My life’s work is to explore color, color palettes, and all the ways that colors interact with each other and the viewer. My hope is that my work spurs on the amazing emotions that I feel within the viewer. I hope the energy gets transported from me to you. I hope that the wonder of the color interplay hold the viewers attention, with new minute details to discover each time you view it. The process of creating the work is for me, but the painting is not for me. It’s for YOU, the viewer. And that my friends is truly the most remarkable thing to me. I’m honored that this is how I’ve been created. I’m thankful for every time that I was not understood as a child or teen, because I think my whole life experience led me here - to my life’s work. Without the love, the children, the travel, the nature, the beauty of Florida, I would not be able to create this work. I’ve never felt more like my true authentic self than I do when I’m painting, and I’m so thankful that I have this platform to share it with you!! I pray you always feel that energy from me in everything I do, because I know I was created to be a creative!!!
